Repeat. Forever.

Thinking back on my earlier post, it comes to my attention that any working woman would tell me that I will have to pack the pumps, whip on the mascara, and make sure I am hairless everyday for most of my working life. No newsflash, and it ain't going to stop after someone decides to hire me.

I have been meaning to reflect publicly on the job hunt process and the state of unemployment I have been in for the past two months. It has been a series of emotional highs and lows, which I hope that I will be phasing out of soon. Applying for jobs is all part of the effort to break into the working world, where we are all expected to be as contributing adults to society.

But I sometimes wonder...

...would I be happier being a housewife?

Yes, I said it. Housewife. Well, I could do without the husband/breadwinner, even if that is unfeasible with our economy. So I guess housewife would be the wrong word in my case, and outdated, apparently. (I won't get into the linguistics of housewife vs. stay-at-home mom and how I prefer to use housewife in a non-feminist-critique way, mostly because it boils down to the fact that the term only started to become the norm after my mom stopped being a self-identified housewife and started to work when I was an older kid.)

While I wallow sometimes in the pit of my non-money-making status, I also take great pleasure in the domesticity it has allowed me. I have been able to tend to a magnificent garden, cook lovely meals, and clean spaces. I have been able to read as many books a month as some working stiffs read in a year. I have even been able to pursue movie watching, a passive activity I once deemed as too much of a time absorber to dabble in earnest with for years. Now, all I need is bon bons and a fuzzy bathrobe to fill out the roll of housewife, starring Dana May, with the setting being many a quiet evening with the DVD player.

Yes, I have even enjoyed the unscheduled, decidedly unproductive evenings at home. I struggle with feelings of guilt over my periods lacking of productivity, but I justify my actions with, "if not now, when?" When else will I have so much time and so little responsibility to engage in so many simple and extravagant indulgences? Never.

Now, back to playing with the dog. With surprise, she is warming up to me.