The Keeper let me down

My keeper broke the other day. The tip you pull in order to pinch the base snapped and made it nearly impossible to get out. The whole thing was a messy affair and made me late to work.

My keeper lasted me three years and two months. When I bought my keeper at the tender age of 18, I thought it would stay with me during a formative decade in my life. I imagined being with her long into my ripe late twenties and both of us agreeing what a long, strange trip it had all been before I purchased another rubber menstrual cup. Sad to say, we didn't even make it through undergrad.

Since I keep up the facade with my mother that I still use tampons and pads, I let her buy me some for DC (I figure coming-out as a Keeper user will be an uncomfortable conversation about sanitation). I grew tired of these disposable feminine hygiene products rather quickly and decided that I needed another keeper in my life. Even if I did not save the projected $600+ I would have if my Keeper had not broken, it is still amazing for its convenience alone.

I called up the local Whole Foods to ask if they had Keepers. After explaining what it was to the male sales assistant, he told me that they only had Diva Cups. Being indoctrinated into the Keeper camp at a young age by neo-crunchy feminists, I had a strong bias against the Diva Cup. But I figured that if silicone is good enough for my dildos, its good enough for my blood cup, and would perhaps last longer than the gum tree variety.

Whole Foods only sells the Diva Cup. I felt like I was buying something that could be sold in the same aisle at K-Mart as Barbie and Bratz dolls, based on its packaging and matching accessories. The extra cardboard does not appeal to bleeders who want to cut down on paper use, and the overkill that is the feminine color scheme did not make me any happier. But, alas, my impatience and desire to reuse my menstrual appliances won over my disapproval of the brand's marketing strategies. I went home to find that each cups comes with a cute DIVA flower pin that I can put on my backpack, as well as a cheap and gawdy storing pouch.

Hating aside, there are a few upgrades that the Diva Cup offers compared to its earth-sister cup. The silicone is much softer and thinner than the intimating brown cone of the Keeper. Also, there are markers that measure in oz and ml how much blood your Diva Cup has collected, which reminds me of all those science classes I said goodbye to after I received my high school diploma. Doesn't everyone want to know how much they bleed? Maybe I can start recording it...yeah.

The one downside to the functionality of the Diva Cup is the shortness of the tip, which makes the wearer have to dig a little deeper in order to pinch the base and empty. I realize that my over-reliance on the Keeper tip is what ultimately led to its premature death, now I see with the Diva Cup that all I needed to do was finger myself (a bit more) every time I wanted to gain access.

The makers of the Keeper now make a silicone Mooncup that has the same shape and tip, and I wish Whole Foods would sell this one so I didn't have that silly pouch and pin. I know that co-ops like the one in Ann Arbor sell Keepers, so why doesn't a mega organic store like Whole Foods sell every blood cup our market economy has to offer? Is it the nature of corporate takeover that takes even the most feminist and environmental product and make it another consumerist gender stereotype? Perhaps the makers of the Diva Cup hope that by marketing their product as cute and girly, it will attract women who would otherwise shrink away from the idea of a reusable blood cup or, goddess forbid, touching their own bleeding pussies. Women have to be cool with their pussy blood to handle a cup, and there is so much shame and disgust surrounding menstruation in our culture, that it may take some encouragement to get more women on board. But does it have to be through obnoxiously pink packaging, or the coaxing of a cheap flower pin?

Its in the name itself. You have the Keeper and Mooncup, which carries on in the environmental-feminist tradition of the Keeper, owned by many a girl who are or went through an Ani DiFranco phase, are veg, and/or went to summer camps run by hairy college-age feminists. Then you have the Diva Cup, which embraces the image of the woman who still wants to be fabulous and feminine, while also saving the environment or avoid monthly batches of bleached cotton up their vag. For others, it is just the right product for them, it is smaller and more flexible, and you can measure your blood!

So, am I being too critical over this whole Diva Cup thing? Considering its lodged inside me right now, maybe, but I have read one too many Bitch magazines cover to cover to not write social commentary on menstrual cups. Goddess bless.

Going out with the tide

I apologize for falling behind with semi-regular updates on my life in DC, but noting my guilt is mostly an attempt at self-flattery, thinking that I have a readership. All that aside, DC has picked me up in a gust of restless confusion, for everyday I wake up with one idea and fall asleep with something completely different.

I am Dana, and I am a graduating college senior that does not know what she wants to do with her one precious life.

("Hi, Dana")

I came to DC hoping to figure out whether to go to law or public policy school, and to find a job for the year off I planned to take before going on to grad school. Up until a few days ago, I had fanciful dreams of living in China and writing plays about the history of small Oregon towns. It seemed completely possible, and indeed, it still can be, but now, I am back right where I started. I want to either go to law or public policy school, and would like to get a job in the non-profit sector in DC after I graduate. (bitter sarcasm bubbles up to the surface) Awesome, a semester well spent. Now I have it all figured out.

I am not the only one. All my friends are in different states of the same soon-to-be or post-graduated quagmire. Some days, I panic. Sunday I went to a mediation gathering at an Unitarian church with my friend Eunice, and was embarrassed to cry in front of all those meditating strangers. It also didn't help that my cell phone went off right in the middle of the practice and I could sense everyone losing their much sought after inner peace. Sorry, Sangha.

Other days, I am quite hopeful and excited, which is obviously more comfortable, but I know see the necessity of having both the dark and the light with me, or the yin and the yang, if I were to take from my mediation visit or my undergraduate education. Being afraid and uncertain can be inspirations to move and do, while embracing the possibilities makes it possible to find what is right.

In the meantime, it is just so easy to enjoy myself. I thought I would miss Michigan falls, but in DC, the fall goes on and on, and I dare say I am charmed by this funny valentine. There will be sad, and there is plenty of bad in this town, but if I can still see the good and keep the hope, then I am going to make it after all.

(Tosses hat up into the air)

DMC meets NYC

I didn't know if I was out of Jersey, I gazed out of my Chinatown bus looking for any sign of official New York. The guy next to me helped me out by pointing to the Statue of Liberty in the distance. Oh, I guess I am in NYC.

How did I go about 21 years as a young American without ever visiting NYC? Distracted, I was. Shaen was an excellent hostess and has great command of the territory. She led me all over lower Manhattan and out to her Hasidic Jewish neighborhood in Brooklyn. I liked the chilled nights we spent wandering and admiring the brownstones and fire escapes. Now I know where all the hype stems from, NYC has it all. I have a greater appreciation for its influence on American and global culture, and I wish more cities could have its energy. Yes, lets work, live, and play all in the same place. I imagine there would be a lot more interesting towns and cities in the US if that were the case.

There are more hipsters than rats in NYC, unfortunately. Before this comes off as a wide brush stroke of hating against hipsters, lets provide a solid definition of hipster and the issues that arise from their grouping in large numbers.

By hipster, I mean an individual that grabs on to the general counterculture scene that takes much of its influence from NYC art and culture, and becomes a drone of sorts. Urban Outfitters and Pitchfork provide them the tools to adopt the mainstream of the non-mainstream and the inability to think for themselves. Going to NYC, I expected to see new and different people from the people in Ann Arbor and DC who wished they were in NYC. Yes, I saw some clever fashion combinations and hairstyles, but they were drowned out by what everyone has become so use to, thank you American Apparel! NYC may be one of the major epicenters of new ideas of culture, and everyone flocks to it because of it. In their migrations, they bring back generic reflections of what the city projected, creating whole populations of walking, breathing echoes of itself.

Besides this lack of visible originality among my peers, I am increasingly concerned over our generation's dependence on irony. But that is for another time.

I do not have issue with all things associated with hipster. I have accepted skinny jeans and...well, I am sure someone could call me out on more things. I would rather hang out at the Black Cat than 99% of clubs and bars in DC. There is a lot of commonality. Its counterculture relates to my lifelong sentiments of not identifying with mass media and so forth. It is easy to understand.
We went to a girls party at the Knitting Factory, and while many of the girls were very cute, they also looked, talked, and acted the same. How American it is to be caught up in individualism, with hipsters being no different. In attempts to question, reject, and go against mainstream society, their culture settles with accepted norms and trends that ultimately go against their original purpose. I would say, "how ironic," but its happened many times before with previous counterculture movements. Hipsters have a heightened awareness of their individuality and are defensive to be labeled or associated with the word. It would be a defeat. The conflict of human desire to be unique and to be part of a larger association, throwing punches in NYC and all over this land.

I agree with Jane Claire, it is much better to go and create "your own scene" than show up to something that is already happening and try to squeeze yourself in. Make a scene, where ever one goes.

Victory: DC Oct. 31st, 2007!!!

What an evening to remember. I strapped on my old blond wig and sensible pumps one last time to visit Club Chaos on a very special girls night, Halloween baby! Hillary Clinton came out (finally!) to a gathering of scantily clad gays and lesbians, and it was divine.

Jane Claire (John Lennon circa Stg. Pepper) and I celebrated the occasion with cheap wine before starting the official campaign. It was truly an experience to meet and shake hands with all the fabulous gays of the DC area, I SUPPORT YOU.

(Sorry, you will have to forgive me. I have been in Hillary character on and off for days now, and sometimes I don't know which person to talk in. I find myself slipping into it...)

GOD BLESS YOU! GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!

I did not know there would be a costume contest, but as soon as I saw the contestant line forming, I jumped in, cutting to the beginning like a good frontrunner should. I made it through the first round, and kept getting audience applause right up to the end, when it was a show down between me and shower curtain girl.

And with the roar of democracy in its purest form, the voices of the gays were heard, and I, Dana posing as Hillary Clinton, won the contest. I didn't really know what the prize was, or cared really, because I only live for the rush of the win and the blood of the kill. It turns out that all my campaigning was not only to win the hearts and minds of the lovely people at Club Chaos, but also a trip to Florida.

Florida...really?

Yes, five days and four nights of paid hotel rooms in Orlando and the choice of Destin, Daytona Beach, and Fort Lauderdale. Ah...

I was born to be incompatible with the state of Florida. I am hairy, can't tan, and sweat easily in hot weather. I would not consider a vacation in Florida, and this prize package does not include airfare. So, I have an incentive to go to Florida, a voucher, but I will still have to invest with my own capital to get down to and back from this state I would otherwise not choose to vacay in, putting me in a situation reminiscent of getting an unwanted sweater from grandma and having to wear it all during Christmas. But, I feel obligated to make this pilgrimage. I did beat out the lesbian gym and grade school teacher duo, after all. I owe it to them. My plans to go to NYC for spring break are now out the window due to my ability to bring out the charisma of Hillary and win the gay vote. I FEEL ENTITLED TO IT, ANYWAY.

I even offered the prize to my parents, but they hate Florida more than I do. So much for an anniversary gift.

I am getting over the, "oh...Florida...thanks..." stage and moving into the "FUCK YEAH, ROAD TRIP TO RANDOM STATE" stage. I have found these trips to be the best in adventure and indulging in some ol' time Americana. My last major road trip was to Alabama, where I and the ultimate frisbee B team explored caves, hung out in Nashville, and listened to country mixes for a week. Now, I will have Florida to cherish...

I love Halloween.