What an evening to remember. I strapped on my old blond wig and sensible pumps one last time to visit Club Chaos on a very special girls night, Halloween baby! Hillary Clinton came out (finally!) to a gathering of scantily clad gays and lesbians, and it was divine.
Jane Claire (John Lennon circa Stg. Pepper) and I celebrated the occasion with cheap wine before starting the official campaign. It was truly an experience to meet and shake hands with all the fabulous gays of the DC area, I SUPPORT YOU.
(Sorry, you will have to forgive me. I have been in Hillary character on and off for days now, and sometimes I don't know which person to talk in. I find myself slipping into it...)
GOD BLESS YOU! GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!
I did not know there would be a costume contest, but as soon as I saw the contestant line forming, I jumped in, cutting to the beginning like a good frontrunner should. I made it through the first round, and kept getting audience applause right up to the end, when it was a show down between me and shower curtain girl.
And with the roar of democracy in its purest form, the voices of the gays were heard, and I, Dana posing as Hillary Clinton, won the contest. I didn't really know what the prize was, or cared really, because I only live for the rush of the win and the blood of the kill. It turns out that all my campaigning was not only to win the hearts and minds of the lovely people at Club Chaos, but also a trip to Florida.
Florida...really?
Yes, five days and four nights of paid hotel rooms in Orlando and the choice of Destin, Dayton
a Beach, and Fort Lauderdale. Ah...I was born to be incompatible with the state of Florida. I am hairy, can't tan, and sweat easily in hot weather. I would not consider a vacation in Florida, and this prize package does not include airfare. So, I have an incentive to go to Florida, a voucher, but I will still have to invest with my own capital to get down to and back from this state I would otherwise not choose to vacay in, putting me in a situation reminiscent of getting an unwanted sweater from grandma and having to wear it all during Christmas. But, I feel obligated to make this pilgrimage. I did beat out the lesbian gym and grade school teacher duo, after all. I owe it to them. My plans to go to NYC for spring break are now out the window due to my ability to bring out the charisma of Hillary and win the gay vote. I FEEL ENTITLED TO IT, ANYWAY.
I even offered the prize to my parents, but they hate Florida more than I do. So much for an anniversary gift.
I am getting over the, "oh...Florida...thanks..." stage and moving into the "FUCK YEAH, ROAD TRIP TO RANDOM STATE" stage. I have found these trips to be the best in adventure and indulging in some ol' time Americana. My last major road trip was to Alabama, where I and the ultimate frisbee B team explored caves, hung out in Nashville, and listened to country mixes for a week. Now, I will have Florida to cherish...
I love Halloween.
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